i'm SORRY that your mind and heart don't have me as someone that matters other than just a "stand-in" companion...all i can do is just hope that would change... :-( everyday's a battle with myself to put on a brave face and act like nothing happened..while it eats me up from the inside... :'( and it seems all fine and dandy for you...maybe coz in your mind, your expectations were just flirting around while enjoying the company. *sigh* why do i always end up in this kind of tragic situation??? how can i ever learn to not be so guillable...think all these years of being single has just taken its toll...

Quote: "Iridescent" of LP
When you were standing in
The wake of devastation
You were waiting on
The edge of the unknown
With the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying "save me now"
You were there and possibly alone

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up all the failures
All you've known
Remember all
The sadness and frustration
And let it go
Let it go

And in the burst of light
That blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown
The heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of temper grace
Falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up all the failures
All you've known
Remember all
The sadness and frustration
And let it go
Let it go


i should just let go..gone with the wind...but heck...easier said than done. :-( everyday's a battle with my inner self to pick up the smithereens that was blown into. another scar added to the heart...how many more can i endure?


Question: why is it that i keep getting played out time and again? i've lost the meaning of enjoying life...one abuse after another...when is it going to EVER end? getting more and more fragile every day...is there even a chance of sucking it up and understand the meaning of human relationship ever again? is my mere existance in this world just for the sake of making others happy but not myself? who's going to make me happy? why can't life just be simple?